When I first started my forum, i had a really awesome member who showed up daily and spent hours posting and filling my forum with amazing discussions. At some point, i agreed to be admin on her forum. But when my family/work schedule changed, i wasn't able to devote more than an hour a day (or ever few days) to her forum and I let her know this. At first, she was very understanding. But then she started showing up on my forum and making snide comments, back handed insults about my lack of loyalty and friendship and it was a very degrading experience. Because of our history, i considered her to be a very good friend. It was difficult knowing how to deal with this person without out right banning them. Eventually, the situation came to a head and we talked it out and got things settled. But I don't feel like the situation is the same now, even when she comes around to post (which is only about once a month now). Just wondering how you deal with a situation where a really good member of your community suddenly flips out and becomes a detriment instead.
You have to deal with them fairly, just like you should with any other user of your forum. If your policy is to ban someone who misbehaves (which I would recommend against), then you need to do it, even if it is your friend. The chances of your friendship remaining are probably nonexistent at that point, but if she's going "rogue" on you, then your friendship is probably ruined anyways. I think the best way, though, would just to talk to them kindly and explain the situation. If all else fails, maybe warn them. And if that doesn't work, maybe a few days suspension off of the forum will help.
Just let them moan, it's their choice to come on your forum or not. If she's spamming the forum with low quality spammy comments, just place her on moderation queue. Your forum would be better of without that.
I would remind them once that snide comments/trolling is not allowed on the forum then if they continued to do what they were doing they would get a ban, simple. The rules apply to everyone.
I haven't had to experience this problem. If you consider these kind of persons as your friends, its best to have a talk directly before things get worse. That may simply settle the issue. But even after talking, its not getting settled, may be you could tell him/her directly, these kind of behaviour cannot be tolerated and You WILL BAN him/her.
